Avni Tewari - Week 9: Young Changes
Growing up as the youngest in my family has been a unique experience. I am the youngest of four, and the youngest of eight children on my dad’s sides of the family, which includes 16 people. The stereotypes about the youngest child—being overlooked or never having the chance to speak up—are surprisingly accurate. In my case, the challenge is not just being ignored; it’s the feat that comes with having an opinion, knowing it likely won’t matter.
Take something as simple as deciding what’s for dinner. For most people, it’s a small, routine choice. For me, it feels like a traps. If I pick something no one likes, I’ll probably hear about it all evening. If I don’t speak up, I’m blamed for not choosing. Over time, I’ve gotten used to staying quiet, an attribute that is not usually correlated with me. But it’s easier than the risk of blame.
Then there’s my brother. At 20, he’s older, more confident, and the one my parents trust most. It doesn’t matter that he’s only home during breaks—his voice voice carries more weight than mine, even if he’s been gone for months. It wasn’t always this way though. When we were younger, things were different. I could get away with a lot just by being the youngest and playing the “innocent” card.
Things shifted.
My parents started expecting more, and my brother stepped into a more authoritative role, and I no longer had the upper hand. At first, it was hard to accept, and I started resenting him. But over time, I came to terms with the fact that these dynamics evolve.
Now, I see things differently; I’ve learned that I still do matter. When we travel as family, I’m the one who makes sure everything is in order. I’m not making the big decisions, but I ensure everything is smooth sailing like the last puzzle piece. Even now, my parents who usually don’t rely on me, have started noticing and appreciating how much I help behind the scenes.
Power in families isn’t as simple as who gets the final say. Sometimes, it’s about being the one to help. I’ve learned to value the ways I contribute effectively. I might not be the loudest, but I still know my presence makes a difference.
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Hello Avni. I really liked how you elaborated on your personal experience regarding the quarterly theme and how it was incorporated into your childhood as well. Being the youngest in the family surely does suck, as it comes with a majority of various negatives. Some may think that being the youngest means that you are doing to be the most pampered, but in a majority of cases, it means that your opinion or even perspective on any said matter would hold no significance. I can attest to this as I am the youngest in my family as well, and I sure do know the struggle of feeling overlooked. However, I do know that once we become older, our opinions and insights would be put on a higher pedestal, and in the majority of cases, that is primarily due to us maturing in all aspects of life.
ReplyDeleteHey Avni, as a fellow youngest-in-the-family, I can relate to your experiences on a surprisingly similar level. When my sister is home from college, I feel that my voice in the family diminishes significantly. My sister tells me that, from her perspective, I am “pampered” by my parents since I am the youngest, but I do not think so.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate that you opened up about specific instances when you felt that your brother’s voice held more weight. The addition of these anecdotes greatly enhanced my experience while reading your blog since I was able to relate them to my experiences. I believe that as you mature, your family’s dynamic should shift. I’ve observed that my twenty-year-old cousin (who is the youngest in his family), experienced something similar when he was in high school. Now that he is in college, he says that he carved his own place in his family as he matured and got older. It takes time, but down the road, a family’s power dynamics will balance out.