Svitra Rajkumar - Week #13 - Lack of Memory
During this year, a huge fear of mine has been being unable to remember things. Not just little details and conversations, but events that feel important to me. There are so many thoughts that we have, people that we are close to, and emotions that go along with them that will simply fade from our memory over time. When I try to recall significant events from the past years I can only remember parts of them, almost like a snapshot of the memory, but I can never quite emulate the same thoughts and feelings that went along with that moment.
This quickly became scary to me and I began to wonder, throughout my day, whether I would even remember what I was currently doing a year later or if it would be forgotten in a week. Everything that felt so important could just as easily disappear from my memory and I would never notice. Even now, there are so many parts of my life that I will never realize were once memorable to me because they cannot be resurfaced.
This bothered me to the point where I decided to try keeping a journal. I tried to write every other day so I could avoid forgetting these memories, and I could reread in the future to preserve the internal thoughts that went through my mind as well. I still write occasionally just not as often, but I think it really helped me soothe that fear of forgetting everything.
As a forgetful person, I want to be able to cherish my important memories and be able to have something to look back on in the future. I have now realized that while it is important to maintain parts of you from the past, it is equally important to focus on the present. Life is short and we should try to make the most of what we have even if we won’t remember it all.
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Hi Svitra, your blog was really insightful of how valuable every memory can be, even the small ones that you fail to think about can turn out to be very valuable in the future. For example, I value the small memories and inside jokes I have with my family and would never want to forget any of them. Memory seems to be a very fickle but important part of our lives. It’s cool how you talk about the anxiety of forgetting many things. Sometimes, it feels as though the very things we want to remember is exactly what we tend to forget. I’ve forgotten to do the weekly survey two too many times in the first semester.
ReplyDeleteThe anxiety you talk about is probably why many of us have the habit of taking pictures and noting down so many things in our life. Documentation in life has proven to be a central part of how we deal with forgetting things. It makes me wonder, how would humans evolve without any form of documentation, even cave carvings?
As you show, the movie Inside Out does a beautiful job of displaying teenagers getting older and developing our memories and what we want to store in our minds. I specifically really like the way they show forgetting with Bing Bong, a vital character Riley had in her imagination in her childhood. The manner in which he leaves and essentially forgotten is truly heartbreaking and makes me regret how many things I have also forgotten from my early childhood. But even though we might be scared, I feel as though it is the process of us growing up. In order to make space for new memories that become more precious to us, we have to forget some things. Overall your blog really got me thinking about the things that I have forgotten, but also the memories that I have enjoyed!
Hi Svitra, I think your fear of forgetting things is extremely valid, and I’m often scared of forgetting not only long-term memories but also things I need to remember for the day or for the week. For our English class, for example, since there’s frequently something due almost every day of the week, I’m always scared I will forget to do an assignment. I’ve gotten in the habit of checking the Weekly Overview constantly, and although this seems a little sad, it’s probably really common since we have so many different assignments. I think it’s super cool that you keep a journal to try to make sure you cherish the moments you value later on in your life; Personally, I’m less organized, but I still try to document special moments in my life by taking pictures or writing things down in my Notes app. I really liked how you concluded that living in the moment and appreciating things as they are occurring is just as important, if not more, as reflecting on the past. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHi Svitra! I think it is really cool how you were able to find a solution to the fear of forgetting events, even if you do not write as much anymore. I understand that fear, however maybe not to the extent where I would go out of my way to write in a journal. The thought of forgetting events that are important to others, or just in general, seems like a total pain. I recently had an argument with my sister where I did something to hurt her and she reminded me of a time I had done that same thing when we were younger. That memory had never come to my mind and even when I try to rack my head about it I still cannot remember. I think to me that is the scariest thing about forgetting; forgetting memories that I share with others.
ReplyDeleteHi Svitra. I found that I related to your topic very well. Given the workload and recent deadlines we’ve had both in APENG or in school, I’ve felt a particular degree of exhaustion mixed with thrill. I felt this especially during the POAS presentation as I had an opening to obtain only a few nights to develop my slides and a number of my citations and their data. While I didn’t “cram” work, I still had a smaller window time to prepare than most. However, this pressure also extended to be a motivator as you describe.
ReplyDeleteI liked and consumed Kanye or Ye’s music before APENG. I was a casual listener then, leaving my understanding of Kanye West and his transformation to be surface-level. Now I remind myself that it was POAS that pushed me to research and discover Kanye’s life experiences and actions. My motivation would have surely subsided if APENG didn’t require me to follow Ye—especially given recent events. So while it may feel like a limiter, pressure is ultimately beneficial in our growth during this time. Thanks for sharing, Svitra! - Rafael Montes Barrera