Rafael Montes - Week 15 4/16 - The Memory of Passing - Kurt Cobain and Dylan Reagan

Dave Grohl (Middle-right, Left Photo) emerging from Kurt Cobain's Funeral via Reddit and the Smoke Signal's official paper dedicated to Dylan Reagan's remembrance (Right Photo, Original).

Over the course of our blogging assignment, I’ve slowly noticed something. Almost every one of my classmates or those in my cohort write about themselves or their personal experiences-each of which are unique and refreshing in their own way. My blog topics contrast greatly, however. Within the last semester, I’ve often chosen to cover artists or Youtubers unlike the familial connections and bonds I have explored in Semester one under the “Marine Otter” cohort. Given the drastic shift in life experiences I’ve gained over the past year, I’d like to return to a personal topic of mine. I’d like to explore a sensitive topic today. I’d like to reflect and explore the similarities and differences between the impact of Kurt Cobain and Dylan Reagan’s passing and how Dave Grohl and I responded to them. 

As I’ve summed up in my last entry, Cobain left this earth under harsh circumstances. With a heavy reliance on substance abuse, pressure from both himself and the industry, and fragile support only through a chaotic support system through his fiance and untrusting connection with his friends, Cobain felt and accepted that he was at the end of his life. For Grohl, the experience was all too familiar. Having already been falsely informed of an overdose by phone, Grohl had the worst kind of Deja Vu. This time it was real.

Grohl describes his time at Cobain’s funeral service to be tragic yet honorary. After every attendant said their goodbyes, one of Cobain’s favorite tracks, “In My Life” by the Beatles, was played. Fittingly, the song can be interpreted as a song that tells how feelings of “longing” and mourning can be alleviated through memory.

The whole experience greatly affected Grohl. For a long time he couldn’t even imagine “playing music.” For Grohl, music was his life and passion heightened by Cobain’s band connections. Grohl even goes on to state that as a “kid” he was practically lifted. Unsure about what to do or how to alleviate his grief, Grohl sought “escape” by relocating to Kerry, Ireland for its remote and extremely serene setting. Away from the chaos and memory of Seattle, Grohl felt at peace for a time until his brief meeting with Lorcan Dunne. On holiday, Lorcan Dunne and his friend, Ciaran. Dunne had been wearing a grey and black tie-dye long sleeve with an official picture of Kurt Cobain with messy mascara. Grohl was shocked, he immediately sped off feeling that this was a sign. Grohl described the experience had shown him he couldn’t keep “outrun[ning]” rock and music as a whole. He would later found the Foo Fighters in 1994 as a one group for the band's debut album, “Enter the Dragon: King’s College, London, UK” (1995). Rest in Peace, Kurt Donald Cobain (1967-1994).

It’s hard to believe it's already been eight months. For others still in grief, it must even feel longer. I still remember the phone call from Sean. I was standing outside Ms. Smith’s class when I stepped out to talk. I didn’t believe it at first—I thought he was joking. 

Then I thought back to the last week of ROP. Everyone had been in attendance except Dylan. The first day felt normal. The second day was strange. The third was the day our instructor officially told us (Sean told me over the phone on the day before). 

I remember wanting to introduce myself—partly because Sean had discussed how cool it would be to connect over our mutual friendship. I simply told myself I would do it the next day. I also remember sitting next to Sean in class, always hearing him ask, “did you see Dylan, bro?” so much that it had become an inside joke. Then he stopped asking.

Eventually, the day of Dylan’s services came—First the memorial, then his funeral. I still remember a large crowd forming to pass around Jarritos and eggnog. The jug was probably a breeding ground for who-knows-what in the summer heat. 

A week after, I had left early for the funeral. Around somber yet humorous tones people spoke and introduced themselves. Everything dropped once the receiving line was formed. My spot in line was favorable as I was able to see all of his pictures and cards. When we began moving to the song “PRIDE.” By Kendrick Lamar that my heart nearly skipped a beat. Each and every one of the tracks on his playlist was perfect.  I already heard most of those songs—and started listening to those songs ever since. To think someone so similar to me was so close was improbable. It solidified a feeling I had at the time and still now: apprehensiveness is temporary, regret is forever. Whether it be from anxiety or a lack of consideration, I couldn’t afford to risk leaving things unfinished, especially given how short life could be. 

Dylan to me wasn’t just the brother that I never got to know—he was an inspiration that gave me that last push to change my mindset. Rest In Peace, Dylan J. Reagan (2007-2024).